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Sunday, August 18, 2013

Do NOT Take My Advice -- Now Here's My Advice

I know football.  I grew up in a football crazy state and began attending CU games at Folsom Field when I was 5 years old. I still remember a night against Kansas State where it was about 12 below at kickoff and my father and I never thought twice about leaving. I watch the sport religiously and have some relative ability to discern what's going on (my +.500 record in my Football Friday posts should prove my point). Now, I'm not saying I'm an authority on this, more like a well-informed fan. So it drives me absolutely insane that in my entire fantasy football career (spanning at least a decade), I have never won a league. Ever. I've only made one championship game and I got smoked by my girlfriend (a day my friends have ensured I will never forget). Needless to say, I have a talent for sucking at one of the flukiest endeavors in the sports world.

That being said, here's my advice on how you should construct your team this year. It's not going to be stat heavy, because football stats are weird. Calvin Johnson was tackled something like 157 times inside the 5 yard line last year. Shit happens. This list is more like a "Plant your Flag" column. These are the guys I like, period.

Drew Brees and Jimmy Graham
I expect Drew Brees to be in full on FU mode all year long (a new idea I have: a player who has taken an inordinate amount of shit should get to replace their jersey number with a middle finger for the whole season, ie: Johnny Manziel, or the entire Saints roster). Brees amassed 5,000 plus yards in back to back seasons and throws to a dude with the athletic ability to average a double double in the NBA. The #1 QB and the #1 TE on my board are in a tier of their own.

Peyton Manning
Injuries aside, the best pass blocking unit in the NFL added one of the best pass blocking guards to shore up their only hole on the line. That is enough reason to be high on Peyton even before you get to the point where he added the best slot receiver in the NFL to his already talented stable. Another year of development for Demariyus Thomas helps things too. I'm incredibly nervousexcited for this season. Super Bowl or bust baby.

Alfred Morris
  • Mike Shannahan likes to run the football. 
  • Coaches with injured quarterbacks like to run the football. 
  • The Washington Redskins are very good at running the football.
The only complaint I have about Morris is that he doesn't play on 3rd down, but he's one of the best bets in the league for 20-30 carries every single game. This guy is #3 overall on my board (after removing this year's keepers: Charles, Martin, and Spiller), behind AP and Lynch (Arian Foster is #5, his YPC trend is worrisome, Lesean McCoy is #4). I'm looking for certainty with a 1st round pick, and I know that Morris will get plenty of run because Roy Helu and whomever else the Redskins have in their backfield aren't threats to Morris the way Ben Tate is to Foster or Bryce Brown is to McCoy.

Dez Bryant
I'll admit, I'm a bit biased when it comes to Dez. Ever since I first saw him at Oklahoma State, I've been a huge fan because his athleticism and physicality simply jumps off the screen. I drafted him his rookie season, traded for him last year, and now am keeping him this year. He's something of a fantasy football baby for me. I think he's gonna have a monster year and it wouldn't shock me one bit to see him end up as the #1 wide receiver when it's all said and done.

Eddie Lacy
It took me a while to get on board with Lacy simply because his offensive line at Alabama was so dominant. He'd play entire halves where no one would touch him inside of 5 yards on any of his runs. Green Bay's offensive line is questionable, and I wonder how effective Lacy is without a full head of steam. That being said, inside of the 10 yard line, this guy is going to be a monster. He has such quick feet and is so powerful that it's nearly impossible to get a clean shot at him. I don't think he'll rush for 1,000 yards, but I do think he'll score double digit touchdowns. Remember all those times the Pack trolled fantasy football fans everywhere and rushed it in with John Kuhn? Well, Kuhn is gone. Those touches are heading Lacy's way now.

Giovani Bernard
Go ahead and draft Darren Sproles in the 4th round. I'll draft Darren Sproles 2.0 in the 9th. This guy will have multiple 50+ yard touchdowns this year.

Ronnie Hillman
I have no idea why Montee Ball is considered a 4th round pick and Hillman is going at the end of drafts. Every Bronco depth chart since he was drafted has placed Ball below Hillman. The Broncos want to incorporate more of those stretch run plays Peyton called in Indy, and Hillman might be a better fit for zone runs like that because of his speed on cutbacks. I like Montee Ball a lot, but the disparity between him and Hillman in fantasy rankings makes no sense. Both will get plenty of run this year.

Dwayne Bowe
Say what you want about Andy Reid, but quarterbacks always have their best years with him. Bowe seems like a good bet for 100 yards and a TD more often than not this season.

Kenny Britt
Pop quiz, how old is Kenny Britt? Most would say what, 27, 28? Wrong. He's 24. And it seems like he's finally healthy, and he has a QB with a cannon for an arm. When this guy is right, he's one of the most explosive down-field threats in the league.

Coby Fleener
He has a similar body type to Jimmy Graham and Gronk, plus he played with Andrew Luck in college. Last year, he struggled to adapt to an unfamiliar system under Bruce Arians. This year, Fleener will play a more familiar role, and I think that will result in him becoming a top 5 tight end. There is no reason you shouldn't have him on your team.

My Team
Note: Half the fun of fantasy football is discussing convoluted trades all season long. What you see below in August will almost certainly not be my team in October, or even next weekend. 

We play in a 10 team, standard scoring, keeper league where we can keep up to 2 players every year. To keep someone, you simply sacrifice your pick this year in the round that they were drafted in last year. 1st round picks cannot be kept, nor can players who were kept the year before. If you want to keep someone who wasn't drafted, you keep them at the round value ESPN gives them (so Collin Kaepernick is ranked 46th, to keep him, you have to sacrifice a 5th round pick).

For example, Brandon Marshall was taken in the 3rd round, Dez Bryant in the 4th last year. I am keeping them both, so this year, I do not get to draft in the 3rd or 4th round. My next pick after my 2nd pick will be my 5th, but I get those two on my team. (Ironically, I didn't draft either. Halfway through the season, someone in our league offered me Dez straight up for James Jones, and I traded Alfred Morris for Brandon Marshall after I was eliminated from playoff contention. These two trades might be the highlight of my fantasy football career, although my buddy won the league on the back of Morris, so it's not like I fleeced him.)

I had the 5th pick in our snake draft.

Keepers not available to be drafted:
Jamaal Charles, Doug Martin, C.J. Spiller, Frank Gore, Peyton Manning, Stevan Ridley, AJ Green, Randall Cobb, Robert Griffin III, Torrey Smith, Danny Amendola, Colin Kaepernick, Russell Wilson, Tony Gonzalez, Isaiah Pead, Sidney Rice, Seattle D/ST, Alshon Jeffrey

1. Alfred Morris
2. Drew Brees
Yeah, so I'm pretty happy. Let's just hope that I'm right.
3. Brandon Marshall 
4. Dez Bryant 
5. Eddie Lacy
Love him as a keeper, which means he has a lot of trade value just so long as he is on the field taking snaps.
6. Hakeem Nicks
I took him over safer bets who were still on the board like Steve Smith, Reggie Wayne, and Eric Decker because I feel like I can play for upside given my top two wide outs. If he can stay healthy, I could have three top 10 wide receivers. If you're wondering why I didn't go with a running back here, the top guys on the board were Chris Ivory and Ahmad Bradshaw. No reason to reach if you don't have to, and the group of running backs I felt presented the most value came in the following 3-4 rounds.
7. BenJarvis Green-Ellis
Bernard went 4 picks before this one. Oh well, let's hope that Giovanni has a talent for getting tackled inside the 5. No matter what kind of year he has, the law firm will still be the Bengals' battering ram around the goal line.
8. Mark Ingram
My RB2 slot this year can best be defined as "the shit that sticks to the wall." If he fulfills some of the promise he had coming into the league, this is a hell of a keeper.
9. Daryl Richardson
How many starting RB's can you get in the 9th round? Other than Ronnie Hillman of course, who was supposed to be my next pick until my buddy from Colorado scooped him up. Needless to say, I'm not happy with him right now. I NEED A BRONCO.
10. Steve Johnson
Money sandwiches. Back to back to back 1,000 yard seasons. What's not to like?
11. Fred Jackson
I don't root for injuries in sports (unless your name is Todd Bertuzzi, but that's a discussion for another day), but let's just say that I wouldn't be dismayed if C.J. Spiller missed significant time this season.
12. Broncos D/ST
Way too early for a defense, but 4 were already off the board, and this was my last chance to snag a draftable Bronco other than Prater. Yeah, I'm a homer, but this is one of the best defenses in the league, plus they have the second greatest Holliday the Denver sports scene has ever seen (thanks for releasing him Houston).
13. Kenny Britt
14. Jonathan Franklin
Well, here's my insurance on Lacy. Go Packers run game. But knowing my luck with fantasy football, Dejuan Harris will leapfrog them both and rush for 1,500 yards this year.
15. Justin Blackmon
I always have one pick that I royally screw up (the last 2 years it was taking a QB way too early after everyone but me had one), well, here we are. Remember how much I liked Coby Fleener? Well, I almost took him here, but said screw it, why not play for upside? Plus, it's a hell of a keeper if it works out. Well, I forgot that he was suspended for the first 4 games of the season, and Fleener was taken 4 picks later by my Pollis.com co-founder, which lead to me holding my nose for my next pick.
16. Martellus Bennett
To be fair, I've always been a fan of his. He never got the opportunity he deserved in Dallas, and now he's in an offense where he can do what he does best: catch footballs. Still...sigh...
17. Josh Brown
I hate kickers. That being said, I have a 6 pack riding on getting the most points from my kickers. It's a tradition me and my freshman year roommate have every season (we also have a bet on who will win the World Series first bet between the Pirates and Cubs. Yeah, we like gambling on silly things). So Eli, can you get inside the 30 and either throw it to Nicks or 15 rows up? Thanks buddy.

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