Imagining the Pollis

The following was written for Ketel One's $100,000 contest called "A Gentlemen's Call: In Pursuit of an Idea That Matters" that is looking for a "game changing idea." I don't expect to win (or even have anyone read it) but I still entered because I felt like it would be a good exercise for me. Being the founder of a company means finding different ways to convince people to use your product. I'm sure that there will be a ton of submissions so I had to find a way to make mine stand out. Here's what I sent along to Ketel One. 

7:00 am. Wednesday, November 7^th 2012. Big Town, USA.

“I was a butcher, cutting up meat, my hands were bloody, I’m dying on my feet, I was a surgeon, ‘til I start to shake, I was a-falling, but you put on the breaks. Hey! Hey! You got me rocking now!” 

Joe Everyday blindly flails his hand around in the air until he manages to find his tablet and turn off his alarm. “Too early for the Stones” he mumbles to himself while struggling to keep both eyes open as he walks towards the kitchen. Joe turns on his K cup brewer then jumps in the shower. After getting dressed and downing his coffee, he grabs his tablet and heads out the door to go to work.

Walking towards the subway with his head buried in his tablet, Joe logs on to pollis.com, a social network for the blogosphere. The presidential election was held yesterday, football season is a little more than half over, and the economy is in the middle of the always-crucial 4^th quarter. “Big news day” he says to no one in particular as he scrolls his newsfeed, reading updates from all the blogs and news outlets that interest him.

“Let’s see who’s up today” Joe thinks to himself as he ventures to the catalog and clicks on the top 100 blogs. “People still have that liberal rag The Hufflepuffington Herald ranked number 1? Screw that, Maroon Municipality is a way better blog. We have to find a way to get this all the way to the top.” Joe scrolls back to his profile page to make sure that he has them ranked number 1 in his top 10 favorite blogs. “I’ve got em at number 3? Hmmm. Too low,” Joe thinks as he changes Maroon Municipality to his number 1 blog and moves My Favorite Football Team's Blog from 1 down to number 3 in his top 10.

Joe then sends out a message to his friends: Can you do me a favor and give Maroon Municipality a 5 star rating on their profile page if you haven’t already? I know I’m partisan but it really is a great blog, at least check it out and see what they’re all about. Thanks. As he hits send, the train comes to a sudden stop and Joe nearly falls to the ground. “Nice driving buddy” Joe barks at the driver on his way out.

As he walks up to his building, Joe brings up the newsfeed where he has created a section for updates from blogs in his industry. He has an important meeting with another Senior Vice President today and he has to be prepared for everything that could be thrown his way. “These Senior VP’s are like cockroaches, there’s a million of them and they don’t die,” Joe says, laughing with his colleague as they enter the office.

Joe sits down at his desk and checks out what his biggest competitor, More Important Corporation L.L.C., is writing on their blog. “Assholes,” Joe mutters as he closes out their blog and goes back to the catalog to scan the lower ranked blogs. Joe knows that in our hyper-connected world, we need to find every edge we can get. He spends the next 15 minutes looking for any information that could help him in this meeting. Midway down the page, a blog catches Joe’s attention and he visits This Blog is Smart's profile page.

He sees that the authors of this blog are two professors at Prestigious Smarty Pants U and their most recent post is on the topic Joe will be covering later in his meeting.

Because of Data A we can conclude that Belief B, which has been a constant for centuries, is mostly incorrect. This has large implications for any product using This Important Thing.

“Holy crap! Our most important product is dependent upon This Important Thing.” Joe exclaims while frantically scratching things down on his notepad. He checks the clock and runs in to the conference room right as the meeting begins.

After listening to the Senior Vice President talk about how successful they are because of Belief B for 15 minutes, Joe finds an opportunity to speak up. “Sir, there is actually a study by Professors Brilliant and Unknown that pretty convincingly argues against the merits of Belief B. I have Data A here that…”

“Just e-mail it to me, I’ll look at it later” the Senior Vice President interjects. 

“OK” says Joe.

After another 15 minute soliloquy on how synergy and Belief B will make Important Corporation L.L.C. more successful, the meeting ends. Joe goes back to his desk and finishes the rest of his work for the day.

On his way out the building, Joe turns on his tablet and sees This Blog is Smart’s profile page on pollis.com still pulled up. “Assholes,” Joe mutters as he closes out the blog and goes back to his newsfeed. Joe gets home and scans the football blogs while his TV blares in the background.

“Why can’t My Team stop anyone on 3^rd down?” Joe angrily shouts as he reads a post detailing His Team’s ineptitude during the most crucial moments of a game. His stomach grumbles and he texts a few of his buddies asking if they want to grab dinner.

After a long night of stuffing his face with beer (or Ketel One, if the occasion calls for that kind of class) and unhealthy food, Joe comes home and gets ready to go to bed. After brushing his teeth he grabs his tablet and logs on to The Pollis one more time. “Anything happen while I was out?” Joe wonders as he brings up his newsfeed.

Joe notices that he has a few notifications. After clicking on them, he reads a couple posts analyzing last night’s election that were sent to him by his friends. Then, he follows a link sent by his sister to a vlog where people go off on funny rants about movies. Joe chuckles to himself and turns his tablet off, plugs it in to charge, then heads to bed. Tomorrow is another day.