Commissioner of Sports

If you have read my blog at all you probably surmised that I like sports a bit. For shits and giggles, let's pretend that I was bitten by a radioactive spider that gives me the power to completely and totally control any sport I want. Let's get to it, there are a few things I would like to fix.

Hockey

New point structure

The point structure in the NHL right now creates a less exciting product. By just getting to overtime, teams know they can lock themselves in to half of the total points they need. In the last five minutes, you will see many teams sitting back, not taking any chances. The NHL is at its best when teams are playing an up and down style; shouldn't we be encouraging that type of play during the most compelling moments of a game? Here's how the NHL fixes this problem.

• Regulation win is 3 points
• Overtime/shootout win is 2 points
• Overtime loss is 1 point
• Shootout loss is 0 points

By giving wins in the first 65 minutes of a game more value, you encourage aggressive play. Combined with a shootout loss netting zero points, the NHL would see an increase in goals because the most aggressive teams are the ones rewarded by the point structure. Plus, it would make shootouts so much more exciting since the stakes are higher. 

Switch to 4 on 4

The NHL's concussion issue stems from the fact that the players are bigger, faster, and stronger than ever and the surface they play on has not grown with them. There are only two ways to address this concussion issue: extreme changes to the rules or an increase in the surface area of the ice. No one wants to change the rules so we have to give these guys more room to work with. The problem is if you think a bunch of old rich dudes are going to agree to expand the rink and sacrifice several rows of premium seating in the process, you're out of your freaking mind. Obviously moving to four on four is a dramatic shift in the way the game is played but to dramatically reduce the concussion rate we need to A. get goons out of the sport and B. reduce the amount of physical contact. 

Like it or not, skating around at 20 mph and slamming in to other people is not a good way to avoid concussions. The NHL needs to find a way to reduce the number of high speed collisions. Switching to four on four would reduce the number of big open ice hits because defensive positioning will become more important with one less guy on the ice. 

Additionally, I think that four on four could make the NHL more marketable. More scoring brings more casual fans in, plus marketing a two man line is easier than a three man line. Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane are already two of the biggest stars in the league but the Toews-Kane line could be bigger than either of them are right now.

Baseball

#robotumpiresplz
Those of you who follow me on Twitter have probably seen this hashtag before. There is no need for any umpire on the field (you can talk me into leaving the guy behind home alone, but everyone else? your time is up). Baseball isn't like other sports. There is no contact to interpret; just clear calls like fair or foul, safe or out, catch or no catch. This also makes it less difficult to officiate than others, yet baseball umpires consistently botch easy calls.

This out call was the difference between getting out of the inning and the Dodgers having 2 on and 2 out

See Dewayne Wise on the right in the stands? See the guy with the ball on the left? Good 'ol blue ruled that Wise caught it.

Apparently Carlos Santana was safe. And these 3 are just from the first 3 months of the season!

Aluminum bats for the home run derby
You want to tell me you're not a little curious as to how far Jose Bautista could hit a ball with an aluminum bat? C'mon. The kids can't run around in the outfield for this one, but who cares? I want to see if Prince Fielder can hit an 800 foot home run. 

Basketball

College switches to a 24 second shot clock

The pageantry of college basketball is always fun to watch, but the product? Eh, sometimes it bores me. Too many offensive sets go like this: pass it around behind the three point line for fifteen seconds, pick and roll, drive, pull it back out, swing it to the other side, drive, kick, shoot a three as the shot clock expires. While most of this is due to the fact that they are not as talented as their NBA counterparts, the thirty five second shot clock does not give the players a sense of urgency. You can play passive offense and slow down the game and get away with it because you have 46% more time to work with than players in the NBA.

Winner of the dunk contest gets $10 million
No one cares about the dunk contest anymore because the big stars are absent. We need to get them back into the field and $10 million feels like the number you would need to reach to get LeBron's attention. Then, expand the field so we have four big stars and two guys who make less than $5 million a year. The little guys would kill themselves trying to get that money which would motivate guys like LeBron and Blake Griffin because they don't want to get shown up on national TV by Paul George.

Football

Everything is perfect just the way it is...except for the fact that as we learn more about concussions, we realize it might be suicidal to play football. This deserves it's own column.

Soccer
VIDEO REVIEW OF GOALS!!!
It's insane that FIFA doesn't do this. It's like watching someone struggling to program their VCR to record a TV show.

Looks like a goal to me. Didn't to the refs

Check out the score. Think England could've used this goal in the World Cup quaters?

Discourage diving
This is the one thing about soccer that makes it hard to get into. One Manu Ginobili is aggravating enough, but 22? I've got one word for that. So here's how we're gonna fix this. If you get called for a dive, the other team gets a free kick either from the spot of the foul (if the dive occurs in the divers defensive zone) or on the opposite side of the field (if the dive occurs in the attacking zone, and yes, a dive in either box is a penalty shot). The diver also leaves the field for a 3 minute power play. I'm looking at you on this Christiano Ronaldo.