New England -10.5 vs Miami
The Dolphins have had some real problems stopping Tom Brady lately. And when I say lately, I mean since 2007. Brady flat out owns the Dolphins secondary. I'm not sure how much Miami is going to score on the Pats miserable defense, but I'm pretty sure it will not be more than Brady puts up on Miami. (Side note: I'm not sure where I came up with this but while looking at this game I realized that Mike Wallace was born to play in this offense. Gronk and Welker command so much attention in the first fifteen yards past the line of scrimmage that the deep middle will be wide open all day. Wallace could just run deep posts all day and average 63 yards per catch. Perhaps Belichick should plant some weed in his locker, Pittsburgh has shown a passivity towards rapists but they seem to come down hard on potheads).
| Once Dan Rooney found Santonio Holmes' bong he shipped him to New York |
Fair warning, this is the second time this year I have liked the Browns against the Ravens and last time I had to root for a backdoor push from Colt McCoy on a seven point teaser. So why do I like the Browns this time on the road in Baltimore? For one, Colt McCoy isn't going to see the field at all in this game and that only benefits Cleveland's offense. Secondly, the only time in the last three years the Ravens have had a good passing day against the Browns, Anquan Boldin caught all three Raven touchdowns and had 142 of Joe Flacco's 262 total yards (Seneca Wallace, tomorrow's QB, went 18/24 in that game as well). Guess who isn't going to be playing on Sunday? I feel pretty confident that Baltimore will struggle to blow Cleveland out in this game; the real question is whether Cleveland will score. I think they can with Wallace back there, just enough to make Baltimore sweat.
New Orleans -6.5 vs Atlanta
This was a tough game to pick. Ultimately I went with the Saints because I like their home field advantage (the crowd and the fact that they're more explosive on turf) and because Atlanta's secondary is banged up. You do not want to be short a couple corners against the Saints offense.
The rest of the games we just pick winners. Now you see why marquee games are so important. I don't think we've had more than one week all year where someone won outright.
Houston @ Indy
What the hell was that last night?
Cincinnati vs Arizona
I really wanted to pick the Cardinals but I feel like Andy Dalton will find a way to pull this one out of his asshole in the last two minutes.
Washington vs Minnesota
With Helu's injury and Minnesota's secondary, Shanny is probably looking to dial up 50 passes for Rex Grossman. Usually this is a recipe for disaster (or comedy, depending on whether or not you root for the Redskins) but Rex has actually been pretty effective at times this year and I think he's gonna light up this God awful secondary.
Denver @ Buffalo
I cannot fathom picking against the Broncos in this game. They're a different team when they can run the ball for four quarters and they should have a big day against Buffalo's 29th ranked defense in yards per carry (4.8).
Pittsburgh vs St. Louis
If I need to explain this pick to you, you have the mental capacity of Buster Bluth (I just ripped through Arrested Development. Awesome show, the fact that it only lasted three seasons but Two and a Half Men is on it's ninth says a lot about this country. America disappoints me sometimes).
New York Giants "@" New York Jets
Jim Leonhard's injury is an absolute killer to an already leaky Jets defense. The Jets seem to struggle with the deep ball when Leonhard is out and the Giants have three guys in Cruz (obligatory #UMass), Manningham, and Nicks who can all attack the deep middle of the field. I like the Giants to eke out a "road" win at "New York."
Carolina vs Tampa Bay
Tampa ran their mouths after their last loss to Carolina declaring that they were the better team. Carolina has undoubtedly kept those quotes in their memory banks and will come out determined to prove that they are indeed the third best team in the NFC South.
Tennessee vs Jacksonville
Whatever, these teams suck. I flipped a coin on this game. I'm falling asleep just reading Jacksonvzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Kansas City vs Oakland
Arrowhead has lost some of its luster on account of the Chiefs sucking for the last decade but I cannot imagine the Chiefs faithful not showing up for a must win game against the Raiders. This game comes down to turnovers and I think Carson Palmer has a few more excruciating picks left in him.
San Diego @ Detroit
This is a good ol' fashioned foot shootin' contest. I think Detroit has a few more bullets in its clip than the zombie Chargers.
Dallas vs Philadelphia
This is another game that will come down to turnovers. Dallas has four turnovers in their last five games. Philly had four turnovers in their win last week against the Jets. Philly's resurgence has been powered by the implosions of opposing offenses. I think Dallas takes care of the ball and one careless turnover by Philly will be the difference.
Seattle vs San Francisco
I was staring at their first meeting (a 33-17 win) in San Francisco and was trying to make sense of what happened. The score suggests an easy 49er win until you look closer and see that it was 19-17 San Fran with four minutes left. Ted Ginn returned a kickoff and a punt for touchdowns to close out the game (as well as brutally cover the over, on a day when I had a hefty amount on the under, kinda sad that I remember that right?). If you want to win these pools you have to make a couple picks every week where you know you'll be in the minority. I hope that this is one of those picks.
Green Bay vs Chicago
Hmmmm, do I want to pick the guy who Chicago desperately wanted to avoid starting over Caleb freaking Hanie for the past few weeks on the road in Lambeau? Nah, I think I'll go with the MVP.
Well, those are my two cents on week 16. This Jew will be spending Sunday with some of his favorite Chinese food, a cadre of movies in his DVR as well as a "tree." Have a Merry Christmas and a happy holidays everyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment